Dear Daughter, let me check your followers.....

Posted Jul 6th, 2019 in Family

Dear Daughter, let me check your followers.....

Me: "What is in his pants?"  "Is that?"  "Why is her shirt almost at her boobs?" 

Still Me: "Is she trying to get a deal wth Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition?"

I just can't. So I want to share my story with all of you in the hopes of helping just one mama and daughter out there. We have been trying social media and I HATE IT. For me, I'd rather just not let them have it. But then my "brother from another mother" (our inside joke!) said to me:

"Here's the thing Nicole, go through it with her. Gianna will either become immune to it all or maybe eventually she just won't want it."

Immune? But why does she have to be exposed to it all now. Yet the reality is, she knows everything already! 

He made another good point, "If any parent has to purchase and download software to monitor kids, then there's something wrong." Teach her, talk to her and maybe she will decide to just not use the apps or more importantly, find a way to use the apps in a positive way!" I can only wish. My son was a totally different experience with social media.

This part of parenting is not easy and this is the reason why I started Girl Code Inc. I realize I am not alone in this. I know some of you are feeling the same. And If I can help get the chatter going, we can lean on each other. I do not know all the answers but I love to share some things that are working and what's not working. And when we need more guidance and support, I can bring in the professionals! Like this guy who speaks to parents and students about social media! Keep an eye out for that!

Here's what happened:

Long story short... social media overload changes my girls personality. Your girl? Does this ring a bell with you? YUP. Right into Mean Girl Status. And that's when I said, "hand it over sista and let me check your followers." This got U-G-L-Y! TikTok overload. Friends, friends of friends, "pretty" girls, girls that can dance, girls with boys, FOMO kicks in, yadda yadda yadda!

Gianna and I sat and went over all her "followers." At this point I didn't give her any options. Here we are going over TikTok.... Innocent right? Ummm.... my jaw dropped a bit. Fast Forward through the meltdown of her not wanting to "block" or "unfollow." I randomly checked 3 posts on each to determine if the person was 'WORTHY" of Gianna. YUP- I said exactly that word. I pray that someday she will see what I see! These followers need to be WORTHY of our girls! Agree???

Learning Moment side note: I met a woman a few weeks ago who has a hugely successful and happy son. I  asked her what she did as mom to have such a successful son. She said, "You must teach them that they are "WORTHY" of reaching their potential!" MIC DROP!  

After a long chat, support from her brother and cousin on vacay telling her

that blocking is NOT a big deal, here's how we are moving forward.

If you want TikTok there will be a few rules: 

1. Keep in mind it's mom and dads phone, you can always use that excuse when dealing with "friends." Feel free to blame us for blocking or not following.

2. You sneak and lie, the phone is GONE.

3. Here's how you decide if you are to follow someone or allow them to follow you: If you would invite them to dinner with the four of us, join our family conversations and can hang for game night, then you can follow them. Basically, if they are polite and have good manners on and off social media, then ok. 

4. If watching others brings on anxiety -do not accept or follow. If you start to experience FOMO, then don't follow. You are in control of your life and emotions. 

5. This can be a positive social media app. Use it for FUN, allow it to bring you tons of giggles and new dance moves. No need for the truly yucky potty mouth ones, no need girlie!

6. You have a protective brother, an over-protective dad and a crazy POP POP, keep that in mind sista! Oh and a "hover mother!" LOL so check with us!

She ended up with following 8 and having 8 followers thus far, that's an eye opener! I guess they can't hang at the Naples for dinner and games. I want nothing more than her to never allow anything or anyone in her "FEED"  bring her down or question her self-worth! Self-Confidence can be tested, even on TikTok.

xoxo,

Nicole

Are you ever looking for something to do with just you and your fav girl? I know I am always looking. Tickets are selling and I'd hate for you to miss a special event where together you and your girl will smile, laugh, find inner strength and her inner warrior! You too! Join us! You won't be sorry!

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