"They are perfect," I say in a stern voice, making eye contact with the nurse practitioner.
She turns her computer my way to look at her fancy growth chart graphs and I repeat in a different way, "Looks like they are exactly where they are suppose to be!" She looks at me and gets my "subtle" hint.
You see, I don't care what those charts say. I H-A-T-E those charts. Any of you feel the same?
Rewind 30+ years ago. Every year, the Dr. would say the same thing to my mother, "Lorraine, the chart says Nicole is obese." I really didn't understand. I was about the size of a peanut (one of my dads many nicknames for me), competitive athlete, people would actually say, "she is built like a brick S**T house" when I was just elementary school age. I was solid muscle. SOLID.
I used to shop in the kids section when I was in High School. I dreamed of the day when I could shop in Juniors.
I even remember a time when I couldn't go up in a parasailing adventure on vacation to Hilton Head Island, during High School, because I wasn't 100 lbs. and the wind might fling me around. So mad! SO MAD! Think about that right now, not even 100 lbs. in High School. I was healthy yet small.
I was often asked if I wanted a children's menu and a booster seat at restaurants as a teen! My siblings thought it was funny, me not so much! I can also remember my parents using my size to their financial advantage. "Yep, she's under 12." I was 16, sometimes even older. I was a liar most of my childhood to save my parents a few bucks!
AND THE CHARTS CLASSIFIED ME AS OBESE. (Close your jaw because you are still stuck on the fact that I wasn't even 100 lbs. as a Junior in High School... me too!)
So, when the kids' doctor's and nurses want to talk to me about the charts, I have nothing to even discuss. Don't even show me your pretty wavy growth charts.
Doctor, do you know that my son is the youngest in his class, hasn't gone through all his growth spurts yet and you are going to talk to him about his height and weight when boys just want to grow by the second. Yeah, not happening. He already hates that he is the youngest, we aren't going to add more today but thank you for offering!
Are you going to take into consideration that my daughter is the OLDEST in her class and girls go through growth spurts earlier than boys. Yeah, we aren't going to talk about that right now.
Do you know the history of my daughter? Let me enlighten you. When Gianna was a second grader, an innocent comment amongst peers about the size and differences of their legs, sent my daughter into a phase of wearing only her brothers basketball shorts and would only wear bathing suit shorts over her bottoms for years because she was trying to hide her body parts and what she thought was "BIG?" ABSURD!
Yeah, we aren't going to discuss that right now.
I wish the well check conversations would go like this:
"Hey guys, as we get older there are some choices you can make. Strategies you can have in your back pocket when you feel you should make better choices. I wish I had these when I was younger but let me share some of this with you and let's have a discussion."
"What do you think is a good goal for water intake?" Have you ever measured your water intake before? Well, here are some interesting facts. Have you ever heard of the app plant nanny? Here's a fun little competition you can have in your house with your family to drink more water. Oh and by the way, you are not in weight loss mode right now but maybe someday you may be, here's a phrase I always use: More water = more weight loss."
"Here's a list of veggies. Take this highlighter and mark some that you like. Put an X next to the ones you are willing to try. Mom, did you know that their tastes buds aren't fully developed yet so if they say some foods taste gross, then it may be gross. So just buy what they are willing to eat right now. And if a little ranch helps them get MORE veggies in, have at it! What do you say, guys? Here's a fun little competition you can have with your family about getting in MORE veggies. Have fun with it!"
"Do you know why we don't need starchy carbs and higher calorie foods (even ones we may consider healthy) at dinner time? This is the best info ever. You may not want to hear this but at least listen. Our bodies start to slow down at night to get ready for bed and our bodies don't need those higher carb foods at night. I know it's tough because they are tasty but if you can save them for breakfast and lunch your body will be much better off."
Personally, I can go on and on but if you had this info when you were younger, don't you think you could have avoided all the weight loss fads? I DO NOT want my kids to DIET ever. I don't want them to ever think they have to restrict food because a stupid chart says they are in the 80-100+ percentile for weight. Instead let's educate and empower. These little souls are so fragile right now. From figuring out school, sports, friends, hormones, dealing with us driving them crazy, they don't need a negative relationship with food or doctors!
I love my practice of doctors, I honestly feel they are the best in the area, I just don't want to discuss your damn charts! They are exactly where they are suppose to be right now!
Agree? or Disagree?
Hey did you know that Girl Code Inc. is growing and we have our first Conference August 18. This is a special event for moms and daughters. Grab a friend and sign up! Let's empower each other!