How many of you have looked at a social media post and thought this at least once:
1. I wish I had a body like her.
2. I wish my marriage was happier like hers.
3. Damnnnnnnn, I wish I could take a trip like she did?
4. Wow, she has so many friends, I wish I had that.
5. I wish I could have a career like her.
6. I wish I had her style.
7. I wish I could keep it together like she does.
8. I wish my kids got along like hers do.
Comparison, we all do it. And please don't sit there and say, OH! Nicole I feel sorry for you sweetheart, you should never do that. Look mama, if you know me, I am pretty strong but I can tell you this...even the strong-willed, strong minded, determined individuals have insecurities. And I finally realized after 42 years that it's.......OK!
We live in a fantasy world. A world where we get the chance to make our lives look however we want. We can show the "Final Edition." We don't have to show the "Blooper Reel." We can keep the "Blooper Reel" hidden away.
In a world where I am usually funny and make people laugh, I want to share this with you:
No one gets to tell you how to feel.
No one has the right to make you feel as though you are a failure.
No one gets to tell you how you are doing as a mom.
No one gets to tell you how your marriage should be.
No one gets to tell you how to live. PERIOD!
It took years of therapy, co-pays and self-reflection to learn this:
You are responsible for the outcome of your family, style, body, career, children (until they are old enough, I do not want to take responsibility in case they do something stupid later on in life and this blog comes back to haunt me, just putting it out there! I have seen that happen WAY too many times!)
You want a better marriage- make the time. Period
You want a better body- Exercise and eat healthy.Period
You want better style- get help from a friend or watch tutorials!
You want a better career- send your resume to your dream job!
We have to stop comparing and start doing. And I am no exception. There are areas in my life that need work. But if we can teach our girls AND our boys to not play the comparison game, they can stay focused on their goal and won't have time for excuses.
Just tonight GG said, "If it were Anthony, you would let him BLAH BLAH BLAH!" Oh man, I lit her up. I said STOP! STOP comparing, I CAN NOT and WILL NOT hear it ANYMORE! I can't let her 12 year old brain start comparing herself to others and start creating excuses. Do you agree? Comparing creates excuses! Think about it!
(We saw this in ROSS and cracked up... I like to think I am cool, Anthony and GG think otherwise!)
Let's not let them do what we have done! Stop the pattern of comparing, making excuses and help them empower themselves!