Mom, I Googled "Mile High Club" and I know it means something sexual on a plane.

Posted Apr 14th, 2019 in Family

Mom, I Googled

“Mom, I Googled Mile High Club.”

“Gianna, You don’t have internet.”

“I asked a friend to Google it.”

“Dear Lord Gianna!”

“I know it’s something sexual on a plane. That's gross. Is that what it is? Mom, Tell me!"

Silently I am saying to myself, can you just stop talking please. STOP. Just STOP! For the love of god and everything that is holy, PLEASE STOP!

Unfortunately when I get a little nervous, I start to laugh. Are you one of these people? When something is uncomfortable you just break out into the giggles, can’t stop and then your mom becomes super embarrassed by your reaction. Like the time when I was about 12, we were in church, my sister and I turned around to offer the sign of peace and this old lady had THE worst hat on her head. It seemed like a mile high of pot pourri on top of her head and then I did it. I made eye contact with my sister and it was all over. We lost it. Like couldn’t stop giggling even at the Pancake House after mass during Sunday Brunch. My mother was gritting her teeth and giving us the evil eye but we just couldn’t stop.

Anyway, it was one of those moments. I was walking away from her school and all I wanted was to just go back in time and look twice at to whom I sent the text before I hit SEND.

10 minutes prior to picking up Gianna at school, I was at a stop light having a conversation on my cell with a friend and also Gianna. This certain friend is someone I can be myself around, no filter needed and she appreciates my honesty an openness. No too mention we laugh A LOT!

My son is traveling and my friend asks about their flight. Gianna is also texting me asking me when I will be arriving to pick her up early from school. At this point I am texting both of them.

I make a joke and say he’s flying in the “Mile High Club.” I get no response. That is not like her so I check and there it is……… on Gianna’s text thread. See pic below.

I ignore it and head into the school. I pick her up  in the office and as soon as those double doors close from school, she opens her mouth and says,  “I Googled Mile High Club.”

How to prevent Mom Fail Moments such as these:

1.  Don’t text and drive.
2.  Don’t have such an open relationship with your daughter.
3.  If you don’t want the entire world to read it, don’t put it in writing (aka text). My mom’s famous words. (Love and miss you my Butters and I know you were laughing at me the entire time Gianna and I had this convo!)
4.  Always proof read your text and check before hitting send.
5.  Work on your impulsivity.

Crap…. I am not capable of any of these so the only thing I said to her was :

Don’t tell your father……



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